Writing Contest Invitation for Writers of All Ages and Genres, Anywhere in the World – No Fee Required – Deadline: Midnight EST January 31st!
Literary Agent Blog Special Request
Dear Author,
I need your help. Don’t worry… I don’t need money or a shoulder to cry on. I simply need your creativity. You see, this is one of those rare moments when I’m at a loss for words. Not completely, but enough that I need your help.
Let me explain…
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Writing Contest – Details
As a former NY Times bestselling literary agent, I consider myself something of a marketing expert. But I’ve completely dropped the ball in one critical area.
I haven’t defined (clearly enough) who my Literary Agent Undercover website is for. That’s what this writing contest is about.
In modern marketing terms it’s called defining your “tribe.” And it’s kind of important because it clarifies who your business is built for and why those people are there.
I’ve admittedly done a sucky job of that.
Yes, I know that you’re an author or an aspiring author. And I know that you’d prefer to have your book(s) published by a traditional publisher (that pays you), instead of self-publishing or working with a vanity press (that requires you to pay them).
Who doesn’t?
But I went a bit deeper this week…
I realized that you’re also probably a writer who’s a lot like me. You’re 100% committed to publishing your books. And you’re going to publish your books, whether you’re able to get a traditional publisher or not (meaning self-publishing if necessary). But, you’re also smart enough to know that traditional publishing is the best place to start (for 99% of people, 99% of the time). So you’re going to do everything possible to give yourself the best possible edge to make that happen. No whining, no excuses.
If that sounds like you, then YOU are the reason I created Literary Agent Undercover.
And now I need your help to say all that in just a few words.
You know, a short phrase or expression…
Something memorable.
Emotional.
Snappy.
Possibly funny.
Something you would relate to.
Something that would inspire you and motivate you.
Something so good that you’d buy the t-shirt, coffee mug, or bumper sticker if I had them printed.
And I will have them printed.
That’s what this writing contest is for.
So I need you to tell me…
What word or phrase can you enter for this writing contest, that accurately describes the type of author that I just described?
Someone like Y-O-U.
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Leave your ideas below (one comment per person, please) and you’ll be entered in a random drawing to receive one of the following prizes for this writing contest:
- $100 Amazon Gift Card – Writing Contest | 1st Prize
- $50 Amazon Gift Card – Writing Contest | 2nd Prize
- $25 Amazon Gift Card – Writing Contest | 3rd Prize
Thank you in advance for your thoughtful, funny, and/or quirky suggestions.
— Mark
Writing Contest Rules and Disclaimer
One entry per person. Any ideas that you list below as part of this writing contest are fair game and I don’t owe you squat. Although, if I do use one of your ideas, I’ll certainly thank you publicly and send you some type of gift (not listed above). A really nice gift. Also, there’s a chance that I might have already thought of your idea, so don’t get upset if I don’t give you credit for something. By the way, that’s why some literary agents (including myself) and most movie studios don’t sign non-disclosure agreements before looking at book or movie ideas. It’s easy to think (as an author who’s not an insider) that ideas are frequently stolen, but it rarely happens. I’m just sayin’. Winners of this writing contest will be announced February 1st.
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MARK MALATESTA is a former literary agent turned author coach. Mark now helps authors of all genres (fiction, nonfiction, and children's books) get top literary agents, publishers, and book deals through his company 
MARK MALATESTA is a former literary agent turned author coach. Mark now helps authors of all genres (fiction, nonfiction, and children's books) get top literary agents, publishers, and book deals through his company 
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Thanks for the Contest Mark .. Cheers ~ Hoom | Writing Contest
Hi Mihai, happy to do it… so many people are popping out of the woodwork that I think I’ll start doing things like this more often. Much for fun writing “with” everyone in my Literary Agent Undercover community… and not just writing AT them. 😉 Thanks for joining the party and getting creative. Mark | Writing Contest
Turn the page to the best writer in you. Avoid the traps, fill the gaps, and move authentically forward into a bigger, better writing career with the compassionate coach who can move you toward your undiscovered talents and make your dreams a reality. | Writing Contest
Hi Bo. Happy Saturday to you. Thanks for sharing your poetic spirit with me and everyone else here. Plus you called me compassionate. You’re projecting, my friend. 🙂 Enjoy your weekend and your piece of paradise. Ingrid and I are both sending you our love. Mark | Writing Contest
Time to give this Writing Contest another go. Here goes…
Write minded
Write-about-face
Write out of the way
Write On
Write-of-way.
Write wing
Write turn
Writeeousness
Writey-ho
Write away
Write of passage
Write Off
Write as rain
Write-hand man
Write Honourable
I’m boring myself to death now. I will be back. | Writing Contest
Hi Wendy, I was going to respond to your entry by saying… Writeous. But then I saw that you already included Writeousness. Darn. I’m such a hack. Okay, got to come up with someone unique to spar with you. Hmm. Man. I’m comin’ up with absolutely nothing. I believe you posted every variation of the word. Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to wish you a good weekend and be on my way. But don’t worry, you know I’ll be back. Thanks for posting. Mark | Writing Contest
I was intrigued by your description of yourself as a “bestselling literary agent.” What is a bestselling literary agent? An agent who sells record numbers of manuscripts to editors? 🙂 | Writing Contest
Hi Vitch, good question. It simply means that, as a literary agent, I helped authors become bestselling authors… including NY Times. You can see more details about some of the success that I had as an agent here: https://literary-agents.com/literary-agent-undercover/mark-malatesta. If I can help you in any way, here’s a link to another page that shows the 3 different ways you can work with me 1-on-1 (fr*ee to fee): https://literary-agents.com/book-marketing. All my best, Mark | Writing Contest
Hi mark,
I’ve got what I call, “ENCEPHAUTHORITIS” a condition caused by “Writing on the Brain.” syndrome.
Symptoms include, but not limited to, letting the words flow downhill like hot, molten-lava-spilling its contents onto paper-finally cooling and pasting its creative influence on the minds of the entire human race. | Writing Contest
Hi Juanita, sounds like a serious condition. You better get that checked out by an agent so he/she can prescribe a good publisher as a cure. Thanks for posting. 😉 Mark | Writing Contest
Wow, thanks so much for my prize! You cheered up a chilly day. I smiled at your candle heat comment. I live in Cyprus and it snowed on us! Yes, snowed. We do not have heating. Out came the portable kerosene heater, and thermal gear from when we lived in the UK. Your description of huddling around the candle matches my lifestyle at the moment. LOL! Again, thanks for pulling my name out of the random hat. 🙂 | Writing Contest
Hi Glynis, sorry it’s taken me so long to reply! 🙂 You’ve probably been worried that I got frozen over…. but all is well. I hope you are staying warm. I’m sending your gift card in a moment, so look for that in your email box… and thanks for being part of my Literary Agent Undercover community. I love seeing your smiling face next to your comments! Mark | Writing Contest
Mark, I received it, thank you so much. 🙂 | Writing Contest
Hi Mark,
I like fun contest like these. How about ‘Author Pitbull’ – short, snappy and memorable. A ferocious, determined author who won’t let go until he has what he wants just like a pitbull. Or maybe ‘Author Bulldog’ – a mean, ugly writing machine just like the ugly bulldog which is also pugnacious and resolute, and who just won’t stop until he gets himself published.
Sounds like all of us in your community (including YOU)! | Writing Contest
Hi Saw Lian, your entry is one of my favorites so far in capturing the idea of the writer who is NOT going to back off or give up. I can also see myself wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m a mean, ugly writing machine.” Ha-ha. Thanks for posting and have a good weekend. Mark | Writing Contest
The Unstoppable Writer’s Club | Writing Contest
Hi Cookie… is that really your name? Thanks for posting. Unstoppable I am, much to the chagrin of many. Hmm. Maybe that’s half the appeal of writing. It’s one of the few times that we can say whatever we want. 😉 Thanks for posting. Mark | Writing Contest
Hey Superstar…
Why not call it : “Author on Fire” (who keeps away from limitations and obstacles, and is on a mission to make a difference, and shine their light in the world”…
Just a thought…
Ingrid Elfver | Writing Contest
Hello darling love of my life… how can I possibly see your beautiful face on my blog and not stop for a moment to engage in a public display of affection? You do know that you’re not eligible to win any prizes because you’re my wife, right? That would be a conflict of interest. 😉 Mark | Writing Contest
I’m published! Why aren’t you? | Writing Contest
Hello again Rinda, I like this one… a bit of a challenge is a good thing. Mark | Writing Contest
What are agents looking for manuscript wise.
Hi Esther, would you mind telling me a little bit about your book? I’m not exactly sure what kind of info you’re hoping for. Plus I might be able to respond in a way that’s more helpful to you. Please post the info on this page instead since I’m trying to reserve this one for my writing contest: https://literary-agents.com/ask-a-literary-agent. Have a great day and thanks for posting! Mark | Writing Contest
“WORD-PAINTER” (We meticulously pick our canvas and paint narrative in order to capture the mind’s eye of our readers, right?)
Came to me so sending: “Imaginings are all around us and deeply felt at the core that is our soul-sight. But belief, well that’s a horse of a different color. It requires intention of purpose: be it a novel; short story; thank-you card, journal entry, hand-written letter, poem… To imagine is to aspire but belief is irretrievable.” | Writing Contest
Hi Janet, I like this… with the last line you got me thinking that imagination is easy, while belief takes more work or courage. Maybe that’s what you were saying? Either way, I like Word-Painter. Mark | Writing Contest
For the creative writer with persistence and verve to published books that inspire, challenge, provoke, and entertain. | Writing Contest
Hi Anne, I’m going back through all the writing contest entries to date… and just wanted to say thanks for posting. And have a great weekend. I like verve! Mark | Writing Contest
Here are a few I’ve come up with:
“Fearless Writer” or “Fearless Author”
“Renegade Writer”
“Undercover Author” – playing on the idea of everyone being an insider as part of my Literary Agent Undercover community
Obvious ones:
“Future Bestselling Author” or “Future Published Author”
Just for fun:
“Unknown Author”
“Broke Author”
“Frustrated Author”
“Recovering Writer”
“Author (of several unfinished books)”
“Shut Up And Write”
You see why I need your help, right?
Please post! | Writing Contest
–Mark
Hi Mark,
I guess there is not a separate link to comment on the blog (vs. the contest).
That was a lovely letter from your client in India. So nicely written too — makes me think that he wrote a really good book too, which probably helps a lot in getting an agent — along with a great query letter.
Thanks | Writing Contest
Hi Ellen, it’s all good. I am trying to reserve the comments on this page mostly for writing contest responses, but it’s okay. I thought you might enjoy that letter from my client in India… probably the most inspirational one that I have. How many blind authors get a book deal with Random House? And offers from several other major publishers? Probably not a lot. Talk soon. Mark | Writing Contest
It seems to me your angle is to offer:
SUPPORT FOR NEW AUTHORS SEEKING AGENT REPRESENTATION, or we could call it
ADVOCACY FOR NEW AUTHORS SEEKING AGENT REPRESENTATION, or that you are an
ADVOCATE FOR NEW AUTHORS SEEKING AGENT REPRESENTATION, FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS WORKED AS AN AGENT HIMSELF.
(add the “From Someone Who. . .” to any of these possibilities) | Writing Contest
Hi Ellen, funny… you got me thinking about t-shirts that only I could wear. Like “Author Advocate” or “Ask Me About Your Book”. I saw a t-shirt not that long ago that said “Ask Me About My Book.” I quietly snickered. I don’t think that shirt is going to have the result that the author hoped for. Might scare some people away. 🙂 Anyway, thanks for posting and continuing to be part of this community. See you soon. Mark | Writing Contest
GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND WRITE THAT BOOK | Writing Contest
Get OFF your butt… or get ON your butt and write that book? Just kidding. Yours makes much more sense. I just can’t help myself sometimes. I’m not that comfortable with silence (and white space). Have a great weekend and thanks again for posting. Mark | Writing Contest
This writer is made up of: One part ‘luck’ – ninety nine parts ‘drive.’ | Writing Contest
Hi Wendy, I like it… gets me thinking about what other “ingredients” make up a writer. 🙂 Thanks for playing and posting. Mark | Writing Contest
Mark, thank you for the card. Since your launch, you are making quite large impressions at a rapid pace.
Your new “writing contest” is going to bug me all month or until I come up with an idea. I hope you receive at least one phrase you can trademark. I’ll look forward to a list of your favorites.
–DEH | Writing Contest
Hi David, you’re welcome for the gift card… I’m truly grateful for you interacting with me, so I hope you enjoy it. Now, I’m curious to know if you’ve come up with any thoughts yet for my writing contest. I’m going to send out an email soon to everyone, with a reminder to post their ideas. Plus I’m going to share the ideas that other people have posted so far. Have a great weekend. Mark | Writing Contest
Yep, I posted one. I do hope for an opportunity to do business someday. | Writing Contest
This writer is: 200% Creative + 100% Hopeful. | Writing Contest
Hey, that’s 300%! I guess that means you’re 3x as likely to be published with that outlook. 🙂 Mark | Writing Contest