I’m not a self-help guru or motivational speaker,
but I know human nature.
And I know writers.
So…
Today I’m sharing a story that might change your life. It reveals the mystical missing link that might be preventing you from landing a top literary agent, publisher, and book deal.
I feel like I should warn you though.
This article might not seem (right away) like it’s about publishing, or YOU. But it is. So hang in there, and wait for it. I promise you the payoff is there at the end.
Now the story…
I was born premature
(go ahead, laugh it up).
Yes, I was one of those babies that couldn’t wait to get into this world. So I arrived early and ended up in one of those little incubators. You know, one of those miniature holding cells where they stick preemies (babies that weigh half as much as everyone else in the hospital nursery).
Why was I born that way?
Good question…
Maybe it was random. Maybe it happened so I could write this article 42 years later. Or, maybe it was because my mother is only 4’8”. Does anyone really know the answers to these things?
Regardless, I grew up scrawny.
I’m not looking for sympathy. Really. That’s because, although I had an ectomorph body type (the puniest of the three body types you can have), I genuinely believed that I could look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
If I worked hard enough.
Yes, I’m one of those sometimes-slightly-annoying-you-can-do-anything-you-set-your-mind-to types of people: romantic, idealistic, and a bit delusional (in a good way, I hope).
So…
When I was 16 years old, I set out to create my dream body as part of my dream life. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I started working out anyway. I didn’t have a gym membership, a personal trainer, or a clue.
Just a few used weights at home.
After a few months of giving it everything (and seeing nothing), I got bored. A couple years later, in college, I started working out again. This time with a couple friends who shared what they knew with me. There’s actually a term for that. It’s called bro-science (and it can do you just as much harm as good).
Yes, I got a little bit bigger and stronger, but I was inconsistent and didn’t have the balanced diet necessary to get real results.
That’s not me but you get the idea
So I quit…
That was 20 years ago.
It was all downhill after that.
Two decades of immobility made my small muscles even smaller. And two decades of eating unhealthy food covered my small muscles in fat. I’d like to say that I had love handles, but I was a hardcore slacker.
I had a full-blown spare tire that stretched
all the way around my midriff.
Fat Boy.
Then, one magical day a few months ago, I saw the light. Maybe it was the health issues I was dealing with. Maybe it was my wife (and business partner) Ingrid telling me I needed to buy new (bigger) pants. Or maybe it was just me wanting to feel good about my body again.
Whatever it was, I started thinking (seriously) about working out again. But the second I did, all the excuses started running through my mind. It was like they were on a treadmill. A sweaty stink of streaming consciousness.
You don’t have the genes for this… You’ll kill yourself working out and only see minimal gains… You’re 42 years old, dude, your best years are long gone… You’ve never been to a gym, except those two times you took a tour and then paid for memberships you didn’t use… You don’t know how to work the machines… You’ll look pathetic in front of the hot women and muscle heads… You’re going to pull a muscle… You’ll have to wake up early… You’ll have to neglect your responsibilities… You’ll have to watch less TV… You’ll have to share machines with other people and wait… You’ll have to get naked in front of other people in a locker room… Someone could steal your stuff… You might get a staph infection… You could just write about going to the gym instead.
Oh, God.
What a ninny.
Why am I telling you this?
I can admit my wussiness now because I finally “manned up.” Yep, I’ve been in the gym every day over the last 2-1/2 months and I’m LOVING it. Don’t worry fitness freaks, I’m not overtraining and I take days off for my body to recover.
No, I’m not breaking any weightlifting records. I’m not entering any bodybuilding competitions anytime soon. And I’m not taking my shirt off for anyone, either (you can breathe a sigh of relief now).
But I am feeling better, looking better, and getting stronger/healthier. In fact, I’ve already lost 20 pounds of fat and replaced it with 20 pounds of muscle. Now, the million-dollar question is… what took so long?
I was afraid.
Yes, I was scared.
I thought about what it would be like to spend hundreds of hours in the gym and still not lose weight or build muscle. I also thought about what it would be like to succeed (that was just as intimidating). Who wants to spend an hour or more a day torturing their body and counting calories?
Not me.
Not any normal person.
But now working out is a reward for me.
In fact, I look forward to my time at the gym the same way that I used to look forward to eating a Quarter-Pounder with Cheese at McDonalds.
Seriously.
It’s true.
And…
This morning, when I was on the treadmill at the gym, I realized that I could use my gym story to help YOU see your fears, face them, and overcome them. Not your fears about working out (unless that’s relevant for you). But your fears about writing and/or getting published.
So, here’s my question for you…
What are you afraid of when it comes to your writing and you getting a top literary agent, publisher, and book deal? Don’t try to blow me off here either by saying you’re not afraid of anything.
That would be B.S.
Be honest…
Being afraid is like breathing (even for those who strive to be an enlightened-and-empowered-and-or-body-mind-spirit-and-or-new-age-and-or-personal-development-focused-and-or-religious person).
It’s a fact.
We all do subtle (and not so subtle) things in our lives partly inspired by fear, to survive and thrive. We do it a lot. And we sometimes (oftentimes) justify it by thinking we’re being “smart,” “practical,” or “responsible.”
But we’re really just being wimps.
Here’s my point…
When it comes to you getting a top literary agent, publisher, and book deal… getting in shape… or staying in shape… the rules are the same. You need to admit that you have fears. You need to see them. You need to face them. And you need to overcome them.
If you want to be successful.
So…
Here’s your assignment or mission,
should you choose to accept it.
#1: Identify your biggest fears, resistance, and excuses related to writing that are currently preventing you from reaching your publishing goals (or reaching them as quickly as you could). Are you afraid of failure, success, or both? Have you already dealt with a lot of rejection? Are you afraid of getting feedback? Worried about the work it will take to reach your goals? Make a comprehensive list like I did above with my gym story. And be completely honest.
#2: Write down what you need to do next (concrete action steps) to demolish your fears so you can achieve your publishing goals. Do you need to write a certain number of words per day? Do you need a quota for the amount of queries you send out each week? Do you need to hire a writing or publishing coach (like me) to help you finish what you started… or simply get started?
#3: Quit being a ninny and just freaking do it. But first, tell me what you’re thinking below. It’s only fair (I just revealed some of my innermost thoughts). Don’t worry, I swear I’ll be supportive. After all, it took me 20 years to start working out again!
Who am I to judge?
– Mark
* * *
* * *
MARK MALATESTA is a former literary agent turned author coach. Mark now helps authors of all genres (fiction, nonfiction, and children's books) get top literary agents, publishers, and book deals through his company 
MARK MALATESTA is a former literary agent turned author coach. Mark now helps authors of all genres (fiction, nonfiction, and children's books) get top literary agents, publishers, and book deals through his company 
Thanks for the thoughts on fear.
In the quest to get published – when it comes to fear – there is so much to choose from.
The fear of failure. the fear of success, the fear that I will give up three feet before the promised land or conversely that I’ll keep going and never know when or how to quit
Being an author is like treading water in the middle of the ocean; you can never stop, you can never stop treading water —Delmore Schwartz
Hi Jane, well now… based on what’s been happening in the last few days with you and literary agents… I bet you’re happy you didn’t let that fear get the best of you. At the risk of sounding cheesy here, I have to say that I’m incredibly proud of you. You’re doing all the right things, and soon I’ll be able to share you success story with everyone. I can’t wait. Talk soon. Mark
Hi Mark,
Good analogy but who is too decide whether or not a writer or his / her work is premature for the publishers / agents to assess? If they’re looking for another Shakespeare they won’t find him.
Are they looking for a good, well written story or an easy ride by using the same authors over and over to guarantee a profit?
There is nothing to be afraid of regarding rejections etc because in truth newbie writers don’t stand a chance; it’s all about money not good writing.
Hi Brian. I’m glad you shared this. I can reassure you that agents are always looking for newbie writers. Every writer started there. And every agent is looking for something fresh and different. So don’t believe anything different. I’ve been there. It’s just not true. When it comes to money vs. art, etc. read this article that I wrote a while back. It got a lot of people fired up and might do the same for you: https://literary-agents.com/make-money-as-an-author/. Let me know what you think. Mark
I’m afraid someone will get to know me through my writing.
I’m afraid I’ll neglect my family to go market a book, if I actually land a contract.
I’m afraid I’ll never get any constructive criticism, because nobody ever says anything negative about my writing.
I need an agent, and I’m afraid to get one.
Hi Jen, I enjoyed your comments and I admire you for sharing them… although I think it would be GREAT for people to get to know you through your writing. That’s one of the reasons I love writing. If you trust that everyone has flaws and people will like you anyway if you’re honest about them, that’s all that matters. The fact that you care about being the best person you can be and struggle with these things shows you’re a decent person. If you want constructive feedback about your writing, and the support to help you actually finish the marketing process and get an agent, sign up for an introductory call with me: https://literary-agents.com/book-marketing/book-marketing-coach/. I’ll help you get it done. Mark
I have had so many frustrating experiences with exercise, I cannot imagine ever loving it; but I had a similar experience to yours with public speaking. You know what I did about it (Toastmasters), but it still amazes me how much confidence I gained from just doing it, and how much I enjoy it now.
BTW, I was also a preemie (5 weeks early), but didn’t need the incubator, and quickly made up for lost weight… Getting it OFF is the hard part now 🙂
I’m glad you added this, the best part. You got me to laugh out loud… which is saying a lot. I’m not easy. 😉 Mark
Hi Harold, I’m LEARNING to love exercise as part of learning to love and respect myself. Not easy. Especially since being healthy is (according to the experts and my personal experience) 80% diet. And most people (Including the old version of me) don’t have a clue about what they’re eating and not eating. But I’m catching up. I love what you’re doing with your speaking and Toastmaster is a wonderful thing. As you know I was part of a group like that starting when I was 17. Changed me life! Mark
Hello mark
Well done with beating your fear ,procrastination and now enjoying working out. I often fear that I am doing to many different things and not prioritizing the right thing. I am rebuilding my muscles after several ms relapses and miscarriages. I have a three year old toddler and a six month old baby to look after. Besides that I work for my husband in his business coaching company. My own writing for sickly perfect is done in half an hour before I fall asleep. I wonder what to do?
Hi Anouk, that’s a healthy fear that I wish more authors were aware of. So I’m glad you were willing to share it here. And I’m happy you’re paying attention to your body and doing all you can to heal. I can only imagine what you’re going through. But you seem like a strong person. If there’s nothing more you can do to improve your external world, you’ll just have to keep focusing on what you can do internally… which is stay patient and strong, and keep believing. You will meet your goals. Mark
Mark, I’m not afraid of writing; seems I can sit down and write about anything. And query letters, while they’ve not done me much good yet, aren’t that daunting, either. But I tried self-publishing, believing the stories about it being the best way to go, and three of my rejections have cited that as the reason they chose not to work with me. So I’m afraid now that I’ve already cursed myself. Makes me wonder if it might not be time to give up.
Hi Wayne, I’m glad you posted this because you definitely shouldn’t give up. I wish you hadn’t already self-published, but that isn’t a deal-breaker when it comes to you getting a traditional publisher. It just makes it harder, but it’s still possible. When I was an agent, I took on authors who’d already self-published and got them deals. It happens. So hang in there. Mark
I doubt you recall when we spoke on the phone a couple months ago. I had called about having you speak at a convention I was trying to set up, but it got canceled. Since then I’ve lost everything, and now, today, I’m faced with seeing my daughter homeless tomorrow because once again I’ve been screwed on getting paid for a writing job. My books are my only hope, and they’re not selling, so I guess I don’t have any hope left.
Thanks for replying, but I don’t have any rope left to hang on with.
Hi Wayne, believe it or not I do remember you. I don’t speak with as many people as you might think, and I appreciated the things you shared with me. I hope things turn around for you soon and you and your daughter are okay. Hang in there. MANY authors have struggled mightily before breaking through. Don’t stop believing, or taking forward action. Mark
Mark, thank you, and I apologize for my depressing comments. I don’t usually vent like that, and I’m ot deure why I did. I’ve redoubled my efforts, and won’t give up (I actually never do).
Hi Wayne, it’s alright. But thank you for that. Here’s to a good week, and month, and rest of the year. All my best to you and your family. Mark
I love writing my novels, but don’t relish the query letters, plot descriptions, marketing blurbs, etc. My biggest fear is that I’ll never enjoy writing them!!! Ah well – onward and upward….
Hi Lynn, the good news is you’re not alone… if that’s any consolation. It would actually be kind of weird if you did enjoy it. You’re supposed to enjoy (and be good at) writing novels. So, set a deadline for the other stuff and get help if you need it. Then you can get back to your fiction. You might never enjoy the other parts, but that’s okay. It doesn’t need to stop you from being successfully published. Mark
Mark, I loved that analogy! My internal committee can produce a long list of fears and excuses too! For me, my anxiety is that I am writing about a very intense experience that I didn’t even share with my friends and family. Now, because I know there are millions out there with a story so different, yet so similar, I am putting it out there for everyone to read. If they don’t like the story, it will feel like they don’t like me. Yep, sixth grade level thinking, but some things never change..
Hi Erika, I love it… your “internal committee”. Funny. In your case, since I know your story, I understand your resistance to sharing your story. But it’s certainly going to help a lot of people, so I’m glad you’re breathing life into it and giving it wings. And no worries about anyone not liking you. Seriously, you’re going to be the most popular girl at the ball soon. You’re the complete package, on and off the page. Talk soon. Mark
Mark – I too am a premature baby.. but I had one gift that some aren’t blessed with… my parents. They believed that life was an adventure. That in this great country of ours, if we worked hard enough we could achieve our goals. The secret, of course, is to have goals. So while your heartfelt journey to a body you wanted took longer than you first thought, you already possessed a belief in yourself that made you try yet again. Fear can cripple. You didn’t let it.
Hi Pat, maybe preemies are more likely to be published? Okay, maybe not. But several authors have let me know that they arrived early on this planet as well. 😉 I love that you had parents like that, and you’ve always had goals… makes sense since I’ve gotten to know you a bit. It’s very difficult to inject that kind of belief and/or work ethic into people that don’t have it… once they’re a certain age. Their reality is different. I’m glad when I find those (like you) who believe. Mark
Mark- At age 86, I’m too old to be afraid. I take that back. I’ve always had a little fear of speaking before an audience, however I will be speaking before a small book club in December. It should be fun. Dick
Richard, you are an inspiration! At 63, I thought I was about the oldest person in this group. Go get ’em with your speech!
Harold
HI Harold, puts it all in perspective doesn’t it? 😉 Probably going to get a reply now from an author on my list who is 105 and just got a book deal. How cool would that be? Talk to you in a bit. Mark
Hi Dick, just so you know… you’ve inspired many people by posting this comment and sharing your story. You’ve inspired me as well. I’ll be writing an article soon about two authors in their 80s that I’ve spoken with recently. One of them (you) decided to stay ambitious and passionate and get his work out there to agents and publishers. The other one decided not to. Interesting how people (at any age) give up on things while others make it happen. Have a great weekend. Mark
Hey Mark! Thought it might be okay for me to leave a little word for your writers about what all you’re saying, being that we ran the miles together already.
Guys: If Mark tells you not to self-publish a book, resist temptation! The more profitable way is [as logic dictates] the more difficult way that requires more patience and belief in yourself. Take the long haul even if you publish on your 3rd or 4th. Publishers will change their minds about the no’s on the earlier ones. Go for Gold!
Hi Carol, you can post anything you want anytime you want. It was great catching up with the other day. I hope everyone takes your advice AND click on this link to go check out your website and buy all your books: http://carolplumucci.com. As you know, I will always be a fan (not just your former agent). Have a great weekend and hope to see you again soon. I’m excited to see what you have coming next. Mark
sorry to lazy to write all this down. too tired.it’s long blog to say something simple–which is my job not yours. yours is to be witty and succinct or wittily succinct.
You missed huge opportunity for allegory. Everybody has different bodies and yoou can destroy the natural strengths of body b wrong training. Face it Johnny Weir just aint never gong to be Ironman. Besides Schwarzenegger used steroids. Is better to identify strengths an assets one has. Turtle is always going to be a turtle.
hi pogo, i hope you’re having a good week. yes, sometimes i’m witty succinct. other times my posts are longer. i prefer shorter because they’re easier and faster to write. and faster to read. but in my book it’s better to let a story breathe when needed. and sometimes it’s important to share the backstory. you’re right about different body types and training properly. but everyone can be healthy and in shape. even this turtle. 😉 mark
Thank you so much for the Amazon card! How grateful am I! That’s a hilarious & beautiful column! BRAVO to you! I fear those who only wish to work with the significantly “platform secured” subjects, versus taking on the challenge of talent, exuberant energy, and a real-deal damn kind person and “platform in the making.” Designer Isaac Mizrahi said it best however, with, “Do your art. Not everyone will get it. But someone, will love it!” Here is to that! And to another gorgeous photo of you two!
Hi Leah, thank YOU. Gift card just went out, by the way. I had fun writing this article so I’m glad you enjoyed it. I have to tell stories or I’ll run out of material. There’s only so much I can say about the nuts and bolts of getting an agent. 🙂 I love the quote you shared, so thank you for that. And have a wonderful week. Here’s to making wonderful art, and finding the right people to appreciate it! Mark
Many many thanks! I indeed received the AMAZON card and that’s a damn kind & generous thing which you deliver to folk and every week. I am so grateful. Coming from the archaic cloth of “old fashioned thank you notes,” and handwritten at that, I was unsure whether Colorado, New York, or perhaps some address in Antigua or elsewhere in the world would make any sense, so I’ll suffice to thank you here; and share that it’s already been put to quite fabulous use. Know that your gesture is thus valued!
Hi Leah, I’m just happy to express my appreciation to those who take time to interact with me here… it makes what I do much more fun, and I grow from the experience. So thank you again for being part of my world here and I hope you got something good with the gift card. Have a fantastic Friday and weekend! Mark
Hi Mark,
Thanks for this story about fear. I didn’t think I was fearful, just really frustrated, but now you’ve got me thinking. What if I am a fearful ninny? I don’t think I was premature (way back then) but my wife strongly believes I am immature (and shares this belief publicly). What if my heretofore undiagnosed fearful-immature-ninny syndrome has been holding me back? I look forward to working with you, Mark, to expose and dispel this and other weaknesses! — Ken
Hi Ken, thanks for putting yourself out there with me… by being just as outrageous as me. I appreciate your creativity and your sense of humor. 😉 Have a great night and know that I’m looking forward to speaking with you. Mark
My biggest fear is not hearing anything back from anyone! I’m not a quitter so I’ll be sending out query letters until I do hear back! Thanks for the boost!
Hi Dana, that’s pretty common now because many agents don’t reply to queries unless they’re interested. But don’t let it stop you from doing your thing and getting those queries out. Here’s to your success! Have a great week and thanks for posting. 😉 Mark
Love the article! I have many fairs about writing and too many rejections. I’m lost. Not sure of my next move. You have inspired me to keep moving forward.
Hi Charmain, every writer has some. As long as you keep going, you have a chance. So I’m glad you’re not giving up. Thanks for posting and have a great week. Mark
Hi Mark.
I think my biggest fear is, I’m going to end up self publishing my first book. That’s why I’m working so hard to make my next set of queries count. I’m re-reading my book(time number ten) from end to end, following one rule by an author of one of my many reference books. R.U.E. (resist the urge to explain). I have lowered my page count by 30–my word count by 9,000-no joke. I hope this little tid-bit help others that read your blog.
Have a good weekend. You guys look great!
Hi Juanita, the good news is I happen to know you’re doing everything in your power right now to prevent that from happening. So be fearless and sleep good tonight. 😉 Mark
Well done. Building up courage muscles . . . and spotting others’ lifts, as well.
Hey K Funk. Thank you. Was going to talk about spotting in my article but figured most people wouldn’t have a clue what I was talking about. Here’s to staying strong, in more ways than one. Have a great weekend and hope to see you here again soon. Mark
My book is finished and I didn’t pay the extra money to have it edited. One agent was really interested after received my query,then wrote back “I”m not impressed with your writing.” How can he know that if he has only read the first 5 pages. How can I get them past that? People have told me they loved my book but now that it’s out there I was hoping a publisher would use their in house editors to fix my mistakes. It’s only been out one month. Am I being impatient? Whats the secret skinny Mark?
Hi Debbie, I hate it when agents say things like that. Not necessary. The way it was said, I mean. Agents can tell what they want in the first couple pages though, the same way that you make a quick decision when wondering if you should buy a book in the bookstore online. You read a few pages. Same scenario. Just know that it’s individual preference. And read this article: https://literary-agents.com/get-a-literary-agent/literary-agent-feedback/. And yes, be patient. 😉 Mark
You’ve inspired me to at least work out more than my current 3 or 4 times a month.
Regarding Fear of Writing, I have a quote hanging beside my desk from author Katherine Dunn:
“To hell with it. I can’t do it right, so I’ll do it wrong. I can’t do it well, but I can do it badly. Sometimes, with luck, while I’m sweating to do it wrong, I stumble on a right way.”
Hi David, great hearing from you and that’s good to know. I loved the quote as well, just sent it to my wife. We share quotes a lot, especially good ones. Here’s to staying inspired and staying fit. Have a great weekend and see you again soon I hope .Mark