A while back, I gave two presentations at a writers’ retreat in Arizona with my lovely and talented wife (and business partner), Ingrid Elfver.
After the first presentation we got oohs and aahs. Glowing remarks. Gushing.
“Wonderful and informative” they said.
Awesome.
The second presentation was different. Some people got a lot out of it, but others got upset (and that’s putting it mildly). A couple participants actually walked out in the middle of our presentation.
Why would I fess up to that?
First, because I learned a lot about myself in the process. Second, because I know that telling you about it will empower you as well.
* * *
Here’s What Happened
The retreat took place in the picturesque red rock mountains of Sedona, a city known for its history and archaeology; arts and culture; shopping; outdoor sports; and spiritual/metaphysical community.
The event was a “Wellness & Writing” retreat attended mostly by authors who read books by publishers like Hay House (self help, inspirational, and transformational books).
For the most part the attendees were:
* Unpublished authors
* Early in their writing/career development
* Spiritual/metaphysical
* Intuitive/sensitive
* Focused on healing and wellness in their own lives
(in some cases the inspiration for their books)
So, what went wrong???
* * *
Breaking It Down
The first presentation Ingrid and I gave was standard schtick.
It was early in the morning and I could hear birds singing outside as I started my talk. I began by painting a pretty picture of how great it would be for everyone to get a top literary agent and book deal. I built everyone up, encouraged them to believe that is was possible.
I also addressed common fears and resistance that many authors have. I provided basics about how the publishing industry works. Lastly, I shared case studies illustrating how to give a book greater bestseller or high commercial potential.
When I was done, Ingrid encouraged everyone as well. She also inspired them to think bigger… about their business and brand. Authors are entrepreneurs after all, and books are just one potential stream of income. Others might include speaking, merchandise, coaching, etc.
Ingrid went on to help everyone see how they could bring more of themselves into their work. In other words, be more authentic and trust the fact that they can do more of what they’re really best at, and enjoy doing the most.
Pretty easy sell.
Everyone (myself included) likes to be nurtured
and hear about what’s possible.
That’s the fun stuff…
* * *
Then We Shifted Gears
After our first presentation Ingrid and I had lunch at a gorgeous restaurant next to a creek, and we enjoyed some downtime in our hotel room. Then we headed back to the retreat to host our very own “Author Shark Tank.”
Ingrid and I selected three different people to come up to the front of the room, one at a time, and sit in our “Author Hot Seat.” We stood on opposite sides of each person to provide intensive 2-on-1 laser coaching.
That’s when things got “messy.”
Yes, we continued to be encouraging and show people what was possible for them (things they wanted to hear). But this wasn’t just us speaking anymore.
It was us coaching.
Coaching is interactive.
Coaching is about action and transformation.
Coaching is about getting real and doing the work.
* * *
So, We Pushed Buttons
* We revealed weaknesses and limiting beliefs
* We talked about reality, making money, and success
* We told people they were wrong when they were wrong
* We challenged them to think bigger and take bolder action, concrete action steps that would take them out of their comfort zones and require more work than they had originally planned on doing (pushing everyone beyond the happy bliss of just birthing books)
* * *
To Be Honest, It Was a Bit Much
If we’d been speaking to a group of CEOs or seasoned entrepreneurs it would have been fine. But we weren’t. Remember, this group was made up of mostly unpublished authors very early in their writing/career development; spiritual/metaphysical; intuitive/sensitive; and focused on healing and wellness in their own lives (in most cases the driving force behind their books).
By the way, any time you start to “lose” an audience as a speaker, it’s your fault. We came on way too strong (talking business) with (mostly) a bunch of newbies that were (for the most part) just trying to find the confidence they needed to start writing their first books. We were so focused on how we could help the people there grow… that we tried to push them too far too fast.
We also should have spent more time (before starting the session) setting the stage: explaining the value of what we were about to do; framing everything we were about to present as opportunity; giving people permission to feel overwhelmed and/or opt out; and remind people that focusing on smart business strategy doesn’t mean you’re inauthentic or only in it for the money.
We realized this (to some extent) while it was happening,
and made some feeble adjustments.
But it wasn’t enough…
As I mentioned earlier, two people walked out.
Then, later on (long after the event), Ingrid and I heard
through the grapevine it got worse after we left.
Awkward…
Now that I’ve had a few weeks to process everything, I’ve boiled it all down to this… the moral of the story. There are two of them, actually:
* * *
Lesson #1: Fear vs. Opportunity
At first when I learned that people (including the event coordinator)
were disappointed, I got afraid.
Oh, no, did people gather in groups and say bad stuff about us that night when we left after the hot seat? Is the event coordinator going to invite us to future events? Will the attendees still want to work with us and sign up for our coaching programs? Will people from the event let what happened get in the way of their growth and development?
Then I remembered…
I’m not the kind of guy who likes to live in fear.
So, I chose the alternative.
Opportunity.
I sat down and wrote the event coordinator a thoughtful email. I expressed my gratitude and some of my regrets. I explained why Ingrid and I did some of the things we did. And I made suggestions for what might be done differently in the future (hopeful that we might be able to mend fences and do more with the event coordinator in the future).
She replied with an extremely gracious email, but it was also heartbreaking. That’s when she told me how upset some of the attendees had gotten.
I jumped right back into fear.
Oh, God, it’s exactly what I thought. No, it’s worse than I thought. I suck. We suck. What a wasted trip. Man, we had such a great start to the event and then blew it with the “Author Hot Seat.”
Then my “higher self” returned.
Opportunity.
I emailed the event coordinator again, thanking her for being so kind and even-handed in her email. It was obvious she put a lot of thought into it and didn’t want to hurt our feelings. She even said that she was worried that her email might have been too direct.
I told her it wasn’t too direct.
It was honest.
Then I thanked her for being brave enough to speak her truth (so few people have the balls to do that). Even though a lot of what the event coordinator said was difficult to hear, Ingrid and I needed to hear it. The event coordinator and I talked on the phone a couple weeks later (this is where it really gets interesting). According to her, our presence at the event wasn’t a total disaster after all.
She said, “Although some people at the event got protective of our tight group, and the discussions about money pulled a lot of folks out of their comfort zones – some positive effects are beginning to be seen. Many times (especially when it comes to money) people often need to be pulled a little out of their current mindset to see the bigger picture!!”
Here’s the point…
Everyone at the retreat (myself, Ingrid, the event coordinator, and all the attendees) were forced to make a choice during (and after) the event:
- Use everything that took place as an opportunity to learn and grow
- Go into fear (get defensive, find fault, and focus on others instead of yourself)
Staying positive and looking for opportunities advances you.
Going into fear holds you back.
The choice we all make
in these situations is critical…
If you want to be a true “master” (spiritually, in writing, or in anything else in life), it starts here. The event coordinator is a master. Ingrid is a master. I’m a master. And so is everyone else that attended the retreat… who chose opportunity and grace.
Life (and people) are imperfect.
Including me.
Get over it.
That’s not what matters.
What matters is what you do with the imperfection. That reveals your true character. It also defines the limits of the success you’ll be able to achieve (in your writing, in your relationships, and in every other part of your life).
Don’t get afraid, look for the opportunity.
Ingrid is much better at this than I am.
I get afraid, she doesn’t.
When I first told Ingrid about the email I got from the event coordinator, explaining how some people at the event got triggered, she laughed. “That’s good,” she said. “We got people’s attention and made them think. Eventually they’ll come around and see that we had good intentions and only wanted to help them grow.”
I took everything a lot harder.
That’s because I’m still in the process of getting comfortable… making other people uncomfortable (whereas Ingrid is already a master at this). For me, the couple weeks after Sedona were more of an emotional roller-coaster. Humbling. A learning experience that made me question what I do (and why).
I hope you’re learning from the experience, too.
* * *
Lesson #2: Love vs. Tough Love
Wanting people to feel good and/or like you is tempting as a speaker or coach, but that should never be the primary drive of a speaker or coach. If that happens, it should be called nurturing and/or people-pleasing.
Not coaching.
Yes, I want as many people as possible to love me when I speak and coach. But it’s more important to me that people reach their goals. Even if that means they’re going to get upset (as long as they’re nice about it).
I get it.
It’s uncomfortable…
That’s because I’m consciously making you uncomfortable, challenging you, and stretching you.
It isn’t supposed to be all sunshine and lollipops.
* * *
As a speaker and coach I have to:
* Reveal myths and misconceptions
* Share insider information about the publishing industry and/or business world that might be difficult for you to hear or accept
* Expose your weaknesses and shortcomings (so you can improve)
* Get you to be more realistic about how much work you’ll have to do and help you be more patient
* Tell you if you’re delusional
* Hold you accountable (if that’s something you need)
As your coach I’m going to fight for you. I’m going to fight with you if needed. And I’m going to show you how you’re fighting yourself.
One of my favorite marketing gurus says, “If you’re not pissing a few people off in business… you’re playing it safe, not really taking a stand for anything, and not helping people grow as much as you could.”
I agree.
It’s called “tough love” and that’s what I do.
If you want a yes-man, that’s not me.
Because I want you to succeed.
I’m not just in this for standing ovations (although they’re wonderful). Matter of fact, if you found this article enlightening and/or empowering… I’d love to hear from you below. And (if you’re one of the authors who attended the retreat in Sedona), I hope you got a lot out of it. You can do absolutely anything you put your mind to.
Ingrid and I believe in you,
– Mark
Mark Malatesta
Your “Undercover” Agent
* * *
* * *
MARK MALATESTA is a former literary agent turned author coach. Mark now helps authors of all genres (fiction, nonfiction, and children's books) get top literary agents, publishers, and book deals through his company 
MARK MALATESTA is a former literary agent turned author coach. Mark now helps authors of all genres (fiction, nonfiction, and children's books) get top literary agents, publishers, and book deals through his company 
Wow, that must have been an enlightening experience for you both. Thank you for describing your humbling experience.
I thought I was being brave with my shockingly honest writing. I’ve been discouraged by the rejection letters but now I’m getting no response at all. I’ve changed my query to say I wished there had been a book on the market when I was thinking about having an affair to hear what it was really like. I just can’t find my audience because sadly, I can’t find a forward thinking agent.
Hi Debbie, it was interesting to say the least. By the way, you ARE being brave with your writing. You are doing so many things right, that are refreshing. Someone will get it if you just keep going. Maybe not everyone, but you just need SOMEone. Thanks for posting, and stay in touch. And keep believing. Mark
Interesting post. I’m compelled to say, as a coach, I’ve found you incredibly constructive and supportive – and received genuine validation –
I wasn’t there and I may be projecting wildly but I find that people who are overly identified with seeing themselves as spiritual are often hiding a lot of rage and ego. Why did these writing hopefuls sign up and sit down for a presentation by a man who’s whole business is about getting an Agent if they don’t have commercial ambitions? Pull the other one.
Hi Jane, thank you. As you can tell, especially since you know me a bit more than most people at this point, this event impacted me in a big way. You’re not projecting, you’re absolutely right. But it’s challenging to sort through it… in the heat of it all. The problem is that many people want things, as you know, like success. But they’re conflicted about it. And that prevents them from getting anywhere. That was the case here. What do you mean by “Pull the other one”? Mark
Hi Mark,
Thanks for the reply.
Its true enough we are all conflicted about going for what we want.
‘Pull the other one’ (it’s got bells on it) – ‘Pulling your leg’ ‘Having you on’ ‘kidding you’ (Aussie slang)
I meant that the attendees who were shocked by the vulgar prospect of learning how to commercially market their writing projects must be in denial somewhat about their own hopes to share their writing with an audience.
Hi Jane, every comment deserves a reply. Okay… most of them do. 😉 Yours most certainly. Especially since you took the time to explain the “joke”. I hate being on the outside of an inside joke. At least the joke wasn’t about me. Thanks for sharing this, now everyone else reading this will know what you meant as well. Not just you Aussies! Mark
Wow! This article was so honest and helpful!! Thank you 🙂
Hi Lisa, thank you for that… and I’m glad you got a lot out of it… since writing it took a lot out of me. 😉 Have a great weekend and hope to see you again soon! Mark
Hi Mark;
Loved the article-wish I’d have been at your “author hot seat” session! I’m a new author, forced into writing after a series of horrible and life changing tragedies. But somehow, it created the very thing that now sustains me-a writing career. My first book was signed by a publisher, July 8th release. Wrote my first fiction and am now promoting it. Just signed a contract for the second book with the publisher and working on it. Fear? Always. Hope? Always. Determination? Always. Thanks.
Hi Debra, thanks for reading and taking time to connect. Maybe we’ll have the chance to meet at a future event. In the meantime, I’m delighted to know that you’ve gotten signed. Would you mind sharing the title of your book? I’m curious. The writer in me always wants to know, and I’d love to help you celebrate your success! Mark
Hi Mark! “A Haunted Life: The True Ghost Story of a Reluctant Psychic” coming July 8th, Llewellyn Worldwide. They’ve just signed a 2nd book. In the meantime I wrote “Sarah’s Shadows- Supernatural Suspense-it’s getting great reviews & actually on sale this week at kindlenationdaily.com
I wasn’t a writer-other than songs (lifelong musician) & I’m still learning every day. I’d love an agent, but have no time for “no’s”-so I had to do it myself! Never say never, & onward & upward is my motto!
Hi Debra, I love hearing success stories… especially when they’re with traditional publishers since that’s always the ultimate achievement and best way to go for 99% of authors. It’s also fantastic that you’ve had success in two different genres… even more difficult. I only wish I could say that I’m part of the reason for your success, but I have a feeling you found me only recently. Oh well, maybe I’ll be able to help you get an agent. You really should have one. 😉 Mark
Yes, I just discovered you! And, yes, it would be nice to have an agent. I had the help of two different ones in negotiating my contract.Sort of told me what I needed to do etc. I will check out your site, and thanks for asking about my books! Debra
www.DebraRobinson.net
I was going to say the word, “tough love” but by the end of this I can see you already got there. Some authors just aren’t ready to hear advice that doesn’t tickle their ears. It’s like that with church, you don’t hear just the right sermon, there are always people who get offended. I can’t understand who wouldn’t want the truth from an agent or someone who has been one. Seriously!!! It’s gold!
Mr. Dale, I have seriously missed you. Was about to reply to one of your previous comments and see where you’ve been (you’ve seriously spoiled me so when you disappeared I got sad and a little paranoid half-wondering if I did something). Now I know (at least I hope) it was just you being busy and having a life. What are you thinking!? 😉 Love your church-shopping comparison, by the way. Fresh slant. And all too true. Have a fab Friday and know that I’m thinking about you more than you do. Did I tell you that I finished your short? Thanks for entertaining me and creeping me out with your horror. Now you just have to write something longer. The world is waiting! Including me. Mark
Charming as ever, you smoothy. 😉 I never tire of you. Not to mention I didn’t see this post in my email. I found it through Becca’s post.I shared you on FB and Twitter, both posts. Authors need to hear what you have to say.
Ha ha ha. And good to know. It’s true… I really was looking forward to your thoughts on this article because I figured you would have a strong opinion. Thanks, as always, for the love. Mark
And for me being quiet, I’ve been editing. I thought it would be done sooner, a lesson in time organization (I’m getting a nice day planner for this) I keep needing to do more edits, my own call. Then maybe a book for a publisher depending if I win a pitch contest, if not back to the novel at hand 🙂
About you editing… from one writer to another… you don’t need to say another word. I support that 100%. What are you editing? Your own work or someone else’s? By the way, you know I’m one of the people out there waiting for you to finish that novel. So have at it and know that you’ve got one more guy in your corner. Good luck with the pitch content. Let us know how it goes so we can celebrate your success with you or help you lick your wounds. 😉 Mark
My zombie novella, SMELL OF THE DEAD, it was one of my first finished works, and boy can ya tell. A lot of work. And it should have already been out. A newbie screw up on my part, but I can take that if it means making the book better. Yeah the pitch is to an agent, I had an idea and I threw it out there. Though I need to write 50 pages in case I win for them to read over. lol But I couldn’t pass up the chance. And thank you Mark, it really means a lot!
Hi Mark, Just read this posting and it’s very helpful because it is giving two sides to a real life situation. We’ve all hit the dust occasionally and I like how you encourage people when it happens to get up and take another try. The ability to do that comes from something deep within…but it can be prompted externally to get active and be useful. Thank you so much for sharing this experience because it’s easy to see that something positive evolved from a difficult situation.
Hi Rhymster, I like to think of myself as the ultimate opportunity-maker… trying to make the most out of any situation. I would say opportunist but that generally has a negative connotation! Thank for you being supportive, and thank you for your kind comment. Looking forward to our call by the way. I’ll keep you out of the dust. 😉 Mark
Hello: Mr. Mark Malatesta,, Mark I truly greatly appreciate your Pure Honesty, this has taking all to the next level, because at the end of the day its all about getting results, and you my good man nail it. I can feel the pain in your heart, while your coaching people and refuse to advance because their Stuck in a rut, while remaining comfortable and getting no where, its as you and your wife want success for them more than they wanted for themselves. I thank God giving you a Pure Heart.
Hi Donald, I agree… that the most important thing is results. At least that’s how I choose to look at things in life because I’ve found that I’m much more likely to reach my goals if I look at things that way. Thank you for your kind comment, and being one of the good guys… who gets it. Ingrid and I celebrate you. Thanks for you posting! Mark
Hi Mark
A revealing article. Spiritual people can actually be delusive with their own set ideas about how to reach financial success and being direct to them that their strategies won’t work can get them defensive and lose confidence and that upsets them. But I think a good shake now and then to make them reassess themselves and their strategies might change their perceptions. Maybe they’ll come to their senses and continue attending your coaching session/talks. Good luck there.
Hi SawLian, so very true about the potential to be delusive. I loved your line about people needing a good shake now and then… made me laugh out loud and share with my wife. Enjoy your weekend and see you again soon. Mark
I so appreciate your sharing of this. I have run into similar experiences with this type of audience.. And find that, when I speak from my “entrepreneur” mindset side, it can push people away. Some of them might have made decisions about self-development and financial success that are sometimes very much counter to actually achieving success, and worse, to gaining momentum or being noticed. It is not allowed, because they have made a conscious decision to live counter to the (economic, religious and political) mainstream. There is a default tendency to be spiritual and “light-filled”, and I find that there exists a large shadow in these groups of people. A shadow of repressed drive and motivation. A shadow of repressed personal power.
It sounds to me like you and your wife stumbled head-first into this shadow! And your bravery in writing about it has helped me express this to myself.
So thank you!
Hi Marie, every time I think there’s nothing more to say on this topic… someone (like you) comes along and adds a new dimension to the discussion. I love what you said here: “There is a default tendency to be spiritual and ‘light-filled’, and I find that there exists a large shadow in these groups of people. A shadow of repressed drive and motivation. A shadow of repressed personal power.” It’s powerful. The default setting for human beings (it seems) is to be black or white in our thinking. But true empowerment (to me at least) comes from the often uncomfortable and “uncommitted” place of seeing both sides of a position. Everything is opportunity, but only if we’re willing to let go of limited, one-sided thinking. Thank you for sharing, and simply being you. Mark
I really enjoyed this, I think as much because you admit you made a mistake as the fact that you introduced exactly what is a big stumbling block for me and many I know. Getting out of that comfort zone, being pushed to be more of what you could be. I say you did great and thank you for being so honest and engaging in this post. I learned, I will be looking for more opportunities from now on. Thanks to you!
Thank you Billie. You just made my day. This article took a lot longer than normal to write, because it’s sensitive and complex, so I appreciate you taking time to leave a comment. And I’m delighted to know that it resonated with you. Here’s to all of us looking for more opportunities! Mark
Hi Mark: WOW, that must have been quite an experience and I really appreciate you sharing it with us. Yes, growth/change is hard and scary sometimes. I know it is for me as I venture out into this brave new world (for me anyway) to try to find an agent, publisher, and whatever else it takes for my writings to be published. If we end up working together, just keep reminding me how good I am 🙂 🙂
and challenge the hell out of me to get my books finished….
Gloria
Hi Gloria. Happy Friday! Glad you had a chance to check this out… and thanks for leaving a comment. It was a wild time. And yes, I’ll keep reminding you how good you are. But I’ll do that whether we work more together or not! You’ve got a long going for you as an author. All you have to do is finish (ha ha, I say that like it’s easy). But you can do it. Talk soon. Mark
Few humans (especially the American flavor) possess the raw humility to do what you guys did, both at the event and the brutal lessons-learned that followed. That’s one reason I love you so much – you’ve never even come close to blowing smoke at me (I can do that quite well myself, thank you!). Thank you World for giving us Mark and Ingrid!
Hi Craig! I love, love, love seeing you here. And thank you for saying what you did. As you can imagine, this article took a lot of soul-searching… and I wasn’t sure if I should post it. But most people are taking it the right way, so I’m glad I did. Thanks for stopping by and saying hello. Can’t wait to help you finish realizing your greatness. There’s a lot of it there. 😉 Talk soon. Mark
Your Sedona experience was a lot like what happened during the broad range of experiences within Werner Ehard’s EST training – the positive, reinforcing events and then the hard hitting seminars in which we faced our limitations. I did not like the seminars and walked out of one of them. Growth is difficult. I am personally forging ahead at what I do best, entertaining people with my stories. Yes, there will be problems, but I am thrilled you and Ingrid will be with me to deal with them.
Hi Joel, thank you for being opening and sharing your experience. Growth is difficult. Well said. Why is it that we all just want to be perfect as is? If someone could come up with a magic pill to alter that part of genetic code, he’d be rich. But then… I guess we wouldn’t be human anymore. 😉 Thank you for being a producer and a worker and getting it done. Ingrid and I honored to be working with you. Mark
Hi Mark,
I recently attended a course that spoke of the five things a human brain remembers in the conscious and the millions of things it remembers in the subconscious. I felt patronised and annoyed by the presentation but had actually taken in more than I had realised.
I reckon your audience (without knowing it) gained a lot whether they walked out or not and when something triggers their subconscious will use the knowledge you gave them to overcome their writing obstacles. So its a win win.
Hi Brian, I love your honesty… and thanks for sharing. Here’s to being uncomfortable from time to time for the sake of the greater good. 😉 Have a great day and see you again soon I hope! Mark
Hi Mark,
I was recently interviewed by Steve Sym. One of his questions was “What problems have you had to overcome in your ambition to become a published author?” My answer “Strange to say, but I believe I was my own biggest problem. I wanted it to be perfect, that I just kept putting it off. Now I strive for excellence. Perfection is a costly & demanding master.” Many of us are afraid, do we have talent, or are we dreaming? Your observations of the reaction, seem to confirm my thoughts.
Hi Jan, isn’t that usually the way it goes? At least I feel like that’s usually the case for me. Ingrid is a good influence for me that way because her constant mantra is all about taking massive action, imperfect though it may be. It’s so easy to sit on things sometimes or over-think them, getting stuck, instead of getting results. Something we all need to work on if we want to turn all our dreams into reality. Thanks for posting and sharing your perspective. Mark
Excellent post, Mark. The truth is hard, yet necessary. If we want to be writers, we need skin like rattlesnakes.
This essay reminds me of an essay I read on teaching called, “easy Graders Hurt Kids,” the teacher who gives kids good grades for turning in half assed work is more popular than teachers like me, who have high expectations and make students work for their grades. But easy victories are shallow.
It’s nice to be liked, but as as a teacher (and writer ) I prefer to be respected.
Hi Laura, now that you know I’m a truth-teller… I hope my high praise of your work holds even more meaning. 😉 By the way, I like the “Easy Graders Hurt Kids” comparison. That’s why I never lets kids win games when I play with them (just kidding). I also like the “easy victories are shallow” statement. Here’s to respect. Have a great weekend and thanks for chiming in! Mark
Mark,
I love your story and your honesty. My kind of guy!!
Denial changes nothing and only precludes us from fixing a problem. without good information we can’t even make the choice to change … or not …!
Sorry that it was difficult for you …glad there was learning experience for all. I have heard it said that we only learn from our failures rather than successes.
Marcia
Hi Marcia, as always… I love your enthusiasm. You bring up a good point, one that I will make more clear in every future presentation I ever make. That the information that’s put before all of us every moment is simply that… a choice. We can take it or leave it. But if we don’t see it, we’re limited. And there is no choice to be made. Nothing is worse than that. At least in my book. Thanks for dropping by my blog AND for saying hello. Love to you and the G-man. Mark
I just fell in love with your wife! I LOVE her response to the email. I’ve been pissing people off WITHOUT TRYING my entire life, since I’m one of those “the truth hurts, so suck it up, b$#@h” people.
You guys sound like the type of speakers I would actually look forward to coming to see. Every conference/workshop I’ve done, I’ve got little to nothing out of. I need to be challenged beyond my knowledge, and few people can do that without leaving the rest of the crowd behind.
Oh, and btw, this has just inspired me to write a blog post. I’ll be a good girl though and finish my homework firsts. I hope to have an email sent to you sometime tonight. 😉
Gorgeous Becca,
I adore your response as well… takes one to see one…
Heart hugs,
Ingrid
😀
I’ve never been one to follow the crowd and say all the right things people want to hear. I tell it like it is (without intentionally trying to hurt anyone) and know the right people will stick around. Those are the ones who value honesty and know it comes from the heart of a person who is true.
Now you’ve gotten us all curious, do share when the blog post is done. I’ve never been anyone’s muse before. Well, I have… but probably not often… and they don’t usually tell me about it. 😉 Mark
I’ll share the link with you once I have it posted. I think I’ll be doing a series of posts and it will fit right in. It has to do with one of my writing goals I set for myself and SMASHED a couple years ago. The idea was simple, but I’m now seeing how much it helped me grow as a writer.
Just had a chance to read your newly-retitled-by-me article, “Your Book Is Like a Puppy.” Do you mind if I use that in the coming week’s as a guest post on my blog? I’d like to tweak your bio that we just created and put it at the end as well with a link to your blog. What say you??? If you want to update it or tweak it first for any reason since you said you wrote it quite some time ago, that’s fine too. No rush. But I think a lot of people will benefit. Mark
Sounds good… looking forward to it. But no rush since we know you have other fish to fry. 😉 Mark
Hi Becca, yes… I did good winning Ingrid didn’t I? She’s amazing. I just try to keep up. It’s no secret in our house. Thanks for making me laugh and always being you. One of these days we will get to meet in person. Looking forward to it. But if not, it’s okay… since I get to talk with you on Tuesday. Ha! See you then. Mark
Yes, it’s obvious you have a GREAT woman by your side. I would expect nothing less. You needed someone as awesome as you are to be your partner. Someone who would challenge you to strengthen your weaknesses while you do the same for her – both in a loving manner. 🙂 You two are blessed to have each other.
I do. And she lets me know it if I start to “forget.” But that’s part of being a great woman also, isn’t it? Good thing I don’t forget very often. 😉 Mark
It would be awesome if we met someday. We’d be talking writing for hours (among other things)!
Not if but WHEN. 🙂 Mark
Crazy, you are also still learning. Something that never ends until the day we die. No sense on dwelling on it, move on as you have. Congrats. Will be talking to you soon. Need to learn from my mistakes!
Thanks
Sue Herndon
Unfortunately, yes. 😉 Oh well. I console myself with the fact that we’re all in it together. Upward and onward. Thanks for posting, and check your email… I just sent you some private info! Talk soon and have a great weekend. Mark
I am amazed how my relationship with you and Ingrid has toughened ME up in the last few months — yet it does not FEEL as though you or Ingrid have been particularly tough on me. I guess it is like the guy who does isometric exercises for years in the same doorway and then discovers one day that he broke the vertical beams.
As others have said, to get much out of a presentation, the listener has to be prepared for what the speaker has to say — but an effective speaker can pave the way.
Hi Harold, that’s good to hear… and as it should be. I prefer the growth process to be more like that. Makes me think of the well-known anecdote about the frog slowly being boiled alive. The premise is that if a frog is placed in boiling water, it will jump out, but if it is placed in cold water that is slowly heated, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. Although you’re definitely not a frog… and our goal isn’t to boil you alive… but to help you grow. Hmm. Maybe I should stick to your example of the isometric exercises in the doorway. Oh, you know what I mean. Are we having fun yet? Oh, by the way… I LOVE your new website. 😉 Can’t wait to see the rest. I hope you’re feeling it! I’m really looking forward to promoting it to my list when it’s done. Have a great weekend and give our love to Lucinda. Mark
Gorgeous Harold,
All I can say, Mark and I adore you… and just wait… (hmmm couldn’t help myself)…
Blissings,
Ingrid
Hey Harold, after I told Ingrid what you said here in your comment about us not pushing you too hard… I think Ingrid decided she needs to turn up the heat. Ha ha ha. You better watch out! 😉 Mark